Rene Schweizer
GAGA Basel
Aus der Lyss 20
4051 Basel
Tel. 25 12 06Basel, 1st February 1977
Director of the Criminal Investigation Department
Lohnhof
LeonhardskirchplatzBasel
Dear Director,
in 1968 I commited my first bank fraud, which resulted in 30.000 Franks and one year in prison.
As only the 30.000 Franks gave me pleasure, I wonder if there is a secret society, which educates interested and skilled young people to expert criminals. Have you, being familiar with this topic, heard of such an organisation?
I’d be very pleased to receive your assistance in this matter, as I would like to apply for an apprenticeship as soon as possible.
With sincere thanks for you effort and best wishes
Rene Schweizer
A Swissbook – Continued 2/10
Rene Schweizer
GAGA Basel
Aus der Lyss 20
4051 Basel
Tel. 25 12 06Basel, 28th January 1977
Department of Public Prosecution
Kohlenberg 27/29Basel
Dear Sirs,
my agencies informed me that my problems, which I explained in the letter dated 25th January, are being discussed publicly at the tables of Spalenburg [suburb of Basel].
As my problem is not meant to be heard by the public, I would like to ask you for a little more decency in the future.
Sincerely and thankfull for a soon reply
Rene Schweizer
A Swissbook
To explain this and the upcoming posts tagged “A Swissbook”, I have to go back to the guest bathroom of the house I grew up in. On a small shelf we had a huge collection of small distractions; dictionaries translating between German dialects, various cartoons, small brainteasers and of course books. One of these books was “Ein Schweizerbuch” (A Swissbook) by René Schweizer (http://www.rene-schweizer.ch/), a collection of nonsense or plain absurd letters to numerous officials. Somehow this book made it to my new flat and cheered me up many times.
At a recent party with friends and a nice big bowl of “Feuerzangenbowle” I passed the book around and people just smiled and giggled reading a few of the correspondences. As some of them don’t speak German natively, I started translating on the fly and the idea came up to publish an English translation.
With the kind permission of René Schweizer himself, I decided to feature some excerpts in my blog:
René Schweizer
GAGA Basel
Aus der Lyss 20
4051 Basel
Tel. 25 12 06Basel, 25th January 1977
Department of Public Prosecution
Kohlenberg 27/29Basel
Dear Sirs,
I shat my pants and would like to know if this is an offence liable to public prosecution.
Respectfully with gratitude for you effort
René Schweizer
During the next few days or weeks I will publish more excerpts of this “tactical madness”, as the author calls it.
For those who read German, I can only suggest to have a look at “Das Original – Ein Schweizerbuch“, a collection of correspondences of the last 30 years.
Cheers Everyone
Tim (who believes in casual madness)
some interesting slogans
in interesting spots 😉
“Sie wollen uns ans Ende der Welt jagen,
doch die Erde ist rund.”
“They want to chase us to the end of the world,
but the world is round.”
Found at the OBW9, the last punk resort in Stuttgart, beeing stormed by special forces.
“Der Kopf ist rund damit das Denken die Richtung ändern kann.”
“The head is round so that thinking can change the direction.”
Found at a trash container near the “Palast der Republik”, a small bar near downtown.
Cheers everyone.
Tim.
EU 25
A sincere welcome to the new members of the European Union!
Military Service
I peter passed the first few weeks of my military service and
I must say that it isn’t as hard as I expectet it to be.
Maybe it’s that easy because I pass my duty at the German Airforce.
The weekends I usually spend at home, so if you want to ask me something
by e-mail don’t wonder if it takes me some days to reply.
I’m not allowed to use my mobilephone weekdays, so don’t try to call me there,
If it hurries try to send a SMS. Well … thats all for now folks!